After our last post on flight crashes was published, we received a writing from Iran that we decided to bring out verbatim. The writer is a man who has been involved in a civil flight crash in Iran some time ago. He survived but lost his sister in the crash.
He had this comment: “[…] in our country, we take nothing seriously. Behind families’ back, we joke about those we bury. I send you this […]. It is a cheap mockery of passengers flying on Iranian fights and the repeated crashes. […]. It is painful to me, to my late sister’s memory. I raised her; I buried her after the plane crashed in [a town’s name]. I am angry. I cannot stand the cruelty of my neighbour who emailed this to me […]. Shame and honesty have left us […]”
We knew words would be weak but we replied to him. Perhaps, some of our naïve and childish Iranian readers, earlier offended by our post and commenting unkindly, will think again. The sweet Iran of their dream does not exist. The reality is so cruel to the average citizens in Iran that the satire shames the satirist. Are we going to tolerate our ayatollahs for ever, happy as we are, settled in our little routines?
Welcome text for passengers on Iranian domestic flights
- Greetings and blessings for the future souls of all our passengers.
- Peace upon the Minister of Roads and Transportation.
- We greet you to the eternal flight of the Islamic Republic of Iran Airline.
- God! Shorten our plight and suffering when the aircraft crashes.
- We have 99% of chance reaching paradise. Chances to reach the destination printed on our ticket is 1%.
- The martyr captain, […] and the bad tempered flight attendants wish you a safe journey to our unwanted destination.
- Please do not mind the non-smoking sign. Enjoy smoking your last cigarette.
- Belts are basically unnecessary and utterly useless.
- When cabin air masks are released, you will smell angels’ perfume.
- The aircraft build in the last century, has four emergency doors, front and rear. Their mechanism is jammed. No one would open in an emergency.
- We will fly you to the seventh sky and the weather in Paradise, for most of us, is fine. Those who survive will live in the Iranian inferno for many years to come.
- We wish you a pleasant flight.